We’re Only In It For the Ladies

It’s pretty clear after the last week that among all of the couples I know,which admittedly is a godawfully small sample,  we’re really all only in it, men and women alike, for the women. Not to say that we men are total crap, but I think the consensus among us guys would be Yeah, we’re okay. But these women, my god!

Ancient wisdom handed down through the generations proclaims that it shall always be that one individual in a couple is favored by all over the other.  I am here to say that sadly this is true. And it ain’t the guy. Women are every time more interesting, more beautiful, more well-adjusted, more articulate, more energetic, more charming…

What has this world done to us men to make us so… awkward? And what would we do without our women to make sure that we maintain social ties? I know what you’re thinking. That the women like the men better and all is right and balanced in the end. But I don’t see it. No, the women are saved by one another. They are living a life of enlightenment and spirit thanks only to themselves, and they are only humoring us so that they can have their babies. It’s a wonder, given all this humor, that serious coitus is ever achieved and we manage to reproduce as a species at all.

So I say unto you, brothers, comrades, fellow ghosts in comparison, the next time you are together with both your woman and your friends look around you. You too will see it. We are outgunned. Outperformed. Outsmarted. Outdone. Outmanned. Know that this is true. Feel your fortune swell by her side. We have married up my friends, and we have done well.  And never forget, you men, that we may not look as good standing next to her, but we live a life we never could have earned on our own. For as a sage and married man once told me, it is always better to be lucky than to be better.