Wanted: Rhinoceros

I want something unbelievably strange for the back wood. Look at it, sitting there all tame and smug. It’s virtually begging for it.

Something larger-than-life, something shocking, something that will scare the neighbors and send home values plunging. What I really want is this:

This is Xavier Veilhan’s Rhinoceros we saw at the Pompidou and I want it and I can’t have it and I want to make one but know I can’t and so want someone to make one for me.  And if I can’t have it then I want this:

Driving down the Coastal Highway last week, we passed these unbelievable metal dinosaurs, so well done, I couldn’t tell what they were made from until I saw that it was rusted steel, some dappled like dino skin, some smooth like this one, all life-size or close to it.  Amazing.  Beautiful.  Please can I have one please?

If anyone knows anyone that has or can make one of these things or something similarly big and weird please contact me. Rhinoceros, Hippo, Cow, Elephant, Dinosaur. Any of these will do just fine thank you.