From the category archives:

quotes

Please.

December 18, 2011

My typical answer to “what do you do?” sometimes invites a metric tonne of questions that I do not feel like answering. I have learned to say “Internet marketing.” in a tone that does a pretty good job of closing the topic. But today I have stumbled upon a better answer. Please.

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this about sums up my curmudgeonly attitude toward the internet

October 31, 2010

In closing, I would like to say that the Internet has become a veritable buzzing, stinging hornet’s nest of pings and pongs and klings and klangs, so please do not e-mail, text-message, instant-message, direct-message, Facebook-message (if you’re still on MySpace or Friendster, that’s just plain creepy), Facebook-chat, iChat, tweet, retweet (don’t even mention Twitter mentions), [...]

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on the internet

September 17, 2010

“On the Internet, an ancient New Yorker cartoon caption observes, nobody knows you’re a dog. But everyone assumes you’re a sucker, susceptible to the pleas of hard-luck Nigerian royalty or eager to enhance your sexual prowess. You can have so many friends, fans and followers that you might not grasp just how radically alone you [...]

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on washing

April 24, 2010

Napoleon in a letter to Josephine: Will return to Paris tomorrow evening. Don’t wash.

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hey… you got chocolate on my peanut butter!

April 19, 2010

Thirty years later, this hook is still caught in my brain.

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overheard in a delivery truck during the holidays

November 30, 2009

“If you’re going to drive like shit, you may as well drive like shit.” Truer words I never heard spoke.

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Twenty-Seven Degrees of Separation

August 13, 2009

My mother and I ground a sober shuffle into the treatment center’s accountant’s office (she shuffled, I more limped) to pay another’s room and board. After some small talk and paper slinging, the bald fact of the sequestration made itself completely hairless: “This is where I ask for the money, she said. I pulled out [...]

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