From the category archives:

oh life

Please.

December 18, 2011

My typical answer to “what do you do?” sometimes invites a metric tonne of questions that I do not feel like answering. I have learned to say “Internet marketing.” in a tone that does a pretty good job of closing the topic. But today I have stumbled upon a better answer. Please.

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thanks Susan G Komen, for ruining pink for the rest of us

November 8, 2011

I don’t mind that liking the color pink makes strangers wonder if I’m gay, or if I support breast cancer, but I am proud of the fact that my ability to compartmentalize politics and aesthetics leaves me free to love the color in a vacuum, devoid of the BS the rest of the world brings [...]

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a mourning dove landed on my head in the garden today

October 5, 2011

I want to reassure you that I am a material man, that my first impulse is not to think metaphysically about these kinds of things. But dudes I am telling you it was awfully hard to avert my thoughts from the possibility that the universe was trying to tell say something to me here. Or [...]

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one year

January 7, 2011

Henry was born one year ago right about….. now. It’s been an amazing year: a tough year; a tired year, an exciting year; a gorgeous year, a thrilling year; but mostly, a year filled with a seven hundred and fifty million-billion gallon spill of you-oughta-be-ashamed-of-yourselves L-O-V-E love. Happy Birthday Henry. You made my life.

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this about sums up my curmudgeonly attitude toward the internet

October 31, 2010

In closing, I would like to say that the Internet has become a veritable buzzing, stinging hornet’s nest of pings and pongs and klings and klangs, so please do not e-mail, text-message, instant-message, direct-message, Facebook-message (if you’re still on MySpace or Friendster, that’s just plain creepy), Facebook-chat, iChat, tweet, retweet (don’t even mention Twitter mentions), [...]

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thursday I will become a farmer

October 13, 2010
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to make an oversimple distinction

October 13, 2010

we spend our lives trying to keep bad things from happening to girls, while we meanwhile try to keep boys from doing bad things. double knock on wood plus reversies.

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how to dry a dead snake

September 3, 2010

I found a little serpent in the driveway of the farm last time we went out to walk the paths. The Catholic lawyers ran him over, and he was good and dead by the time I discovered his carcass lying still in the dirt. No more than nine inches total, just a baby probably, a [...]

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this kid means bidness

July 18, 2010

she’s assures me it will make people take her more seriously.

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not all right

July 11, 2010

Everything, it turned out, is not all right. In fact, if you can believe it, my thumbnail fell off. I really thought it wouldn’t. Then I thought it would. Then I didn’t. Then I knew it would. I updated Courtney periodically, the forecast ponging back and forth every few days, “I think it’ll stay” one [...]

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